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Afrosexology

#RelationshipGoals: Building your ideal love life

There are SO many different relationship models that exist, yet we are only taught about a few. If you had a chance to create your ideal relationship what would it look like? What does fidelity feel like? How do you define commitment?  What are your deal breakers? What do you need to feel loved, affirmed, secured, and valued? How do you want to handle disagreements? During this workshop we will learn about various relationship models, explore on our past and current relationships, and determine ways to build our ideal relationships.

The bible has been used to repress and limit sexual expression and diversity and to justify intolerance and judgment of people’s relationships. In addition, in spite of the fact that the primary biblical family unit is polygamy (multiple relationships!), monogamists still insist the bible supports heterosexual monogamy instead. This workshop suggests however, that the bible offers surprising insights about personal freedom, jealousy, pleasure, power and egalitarian values, and the importance of breaking rules - all of which might be helpful to those in multiple relationships. Taught by an ordained Christian clergy and seminary professor who has lived in a foursome, this workshop offers ways to frame multi-partnering using scripture and the moral language and theology of the church. It is open to all faiths but particularly to anyone who has been negatively impacted and felt judged by Christian teaching.

Rev. Dr Beverly Dale

History of Relationship Structures

Christopher Smith

Open to Love: Polyamory, Rehabilitation and the Black American

Race, Resources and Rehabilitation, these are terms that permeate conversations daily. However, do we ever really consider how these intersect? Do we ponder how our relationship structure choices may impact and be impacted by these? This workshop will explore these intersections in the "Black" American context and challenge participants to consider life beyond conditioning, comfort zones and commonly held constructs. 

 Interview by Tammy Nelson

Elizabeth Newsom LCSW

Poly Parenting 101: How not to f*ck up your kid.
Polyamory means to have multiple loves. There's love between you and your kid, what could go wrong? In this workshop we’ll discuss how you can explore your multiple loves with minimal negative impact on the kids. We’ll discuss the do’s/don’ts of appropriate boundaries, parenting basics, coming out to your kids, and how to grow healthy people.

Kevin A. Patterson M.Ed.

The Intersection of Race and Polyamory 

While polyamory and polyamorists are often viewed as a very welcome bunch, far too often, our communities and representation appear very limited. While we can be loud and proud when it comes to feminism and LGBT issues, sometimes we are suspiciously silent in regards to race. Beyond that, we sometimes, and often unknowingly, foster a standoffish, stressful or downright unwelcoming atmosphere around people of color. This presentation is a discussion about why diversity is important to our movement. We will tackle ways that we can proactively promote an inclusive environment in our lives, in our communities, and at our events. Most importantly, we will go over what we can do to maintain that diversity.

Pepper Mint

Handling Abuse and Assault in

Sex-Positive Communities

We often imagine that our sex-positive and non-monogamous communities are somehow more safe than the wider culture, but in reality new sex and relationship forms tend to create new forms of relationship abuse and sexual assault.  In this lecture Pepper will draw on his experience as a community organizer to talk about: abuse and assault in non-monogamous and BDSM communities, when leadership is involved in abuse, the responsibility of community organizers to address abuse, and actions we can all take to make our communities actually safer places.

David Heffley

I Own You: Power and Consent  in

Negotiating Relationships

Using real world life experience, this presentation defines consensual power exchange relationships, including Dom/sub and Master/slave relationships, and compares and contrasts them with abusive behaviors. My intent is to highlight the difference between a negotiated relationship and tacit expectations of relationships.

Tamara Pincus LCSW, CST

To come out or not to come out

Coming out as poly can move the polyamory movement forward and create more acceptance in the greater culture, however it comes with a variety of risks. This interactive workshop will give us the opportunity to learn from each other about various factors impacting coming out experiences including cultural and religious factors as well as personal identity with regards to race, gender and sexual orientation. We will also discuss strategies we can use to make coming out as poly a smoother experience. We will discuss whether and how to come out in a variety of settings analyzing advantages and disadvantages along the way. The presenter will then share some of the expertise she has gleaned working with clients and others in the community around their coming out process as well as on a book about coming out as poly. This will include some of her own personal coming out experiences.

James Wadley PhD, LPC, CST-S

The Art of Relationships

 

Alicia Bunyan-Sampson

Where are all the Black People?: When White Supremacy and Polyamory Collide

Often times Polyamory is imagined as a relationship utopia. A space where anyone of any race can come together, share love and be fearlessly vulnerable.  In reality, though, Polyamory is remarkably inaccessible in a lot of ways to the vast majority of the black community. Through the legacy of slavery, white supremacy's disruption of black love and black relationships, the disease of strength that permeates black communities, can render the emotional labor (which is vital to polyamory) increasingly more difficult for black bodies - Polyamory can appear to be more trouble than it's worth to many black people. 

 

Aida Manduley, MSW

From Electron Shells to Relationship Sliders:

Destabilizing Polynormativity

For non-monogamous people, answering “who are you dating?” &/or “who is your family?” can already be a long conversation involving complex diagrams, but what does that look like when we organize, negotiate, and discuss our relationships in ways that don’t necessarily center hierarchies, romance, and sex? And what does that have to do with honoring LGBTQ people and communities of color? All that—and what 7th grade science lessons about electron-shell diagrams have to do with is—is exactly what you will find out at this interactive workshop. Join me to learn 2 specific frameworks for relationship mapping, some toxic assumptions in mainstream polyamorous discourse, what's up with relationship anarchy, and the value in moving away from treating polyamory as a Monogamy Expansion Pack (where all the same rules apply, but there are just more hands and butts in the equation).

Marla Stewart

Being Black, Poly, & Kinky: Navigating Power, Equity, and Anarchy in Alternative Relationship Modalities

In today's world, navigating our intersecting identities can be a tricky task as we try to identify and solidify ourselves, as well as our partner(s).  In this workshop, we aim to figure out how we negotiate our identities with ourselves and with our chosen families, how we can improve these negotiations when our relationships' quality is declining, and how to re-create powerful and transformative ways of being.  We will discuss navigating mono/poly dynamics, gender equity, sexual relationship identities with your partner(s), and important communication tactics to get your message across.  This workshop is for everyone, but is centered on Black, poly, kinky, and queer intersections.

 

Shawn Chrisman PhD, LPC

(Bound)aries - Clinicians in Alternative

Community Spaces
Individuals and relationships who identify with alternative communities often seek a clinician who is knowledgeable and comfortable with these groups.  Clinicians may identify themselves as members of these communities as well.  Often, a clinician and client will have zero relationship outside of the therapy room, but with alternative spaces, the chance of running into a client is much higher. What happens when a client runs into their therapist at a munch, play party or other space?  This session seeks to examine considerations for clinicians and how to handle potential challenges when running into clients in the outside world. 

2017 Workshops

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